Well, as is typical in a relationship where you see someone every day, I have yet to pin down the husband in a discussion about evolution, so that will have to wait. The last few days have mainly been about logistics.
So, in a pinch, I’m going to talk about meditation. This morning I had great difficulty concentrating—nothing particularly new there, but today my focus was not pulled by random thoughts entering my head. Today I could not ignore my left leg that was asleep, increasingly asleep so that eventually I imagined that I was in a great deal of pain. Maybe I was. I shifted and rolled my spine, but I would not allow myself to fully change positions. That’s what I normally do: accommodate my body. This morning I fought that urge and oh was it hard. I thought that half hour would never end. Maybe the alarm wasn’t working? Maybe I would lose my leg to gangrene. Isn’t that what happens when there is extended circulation deficiency?
And, back to the breath. I ask myself what it is that I learned here. Well, certainly that you can recover from a leg that was asleep for a few minutes. But further, I think it is possible that we create so much drama around certain events that we lose sight of the big picture. That big picture is so elusive when pain is present, immediate pain, in our face pain. I can only hope that I will get better at staying with it. Maybe tomorrow.
3 comments:
Hmm. I'm fascinated by the theme of pain you're discussing here...and how you led into this discussion. Fodder for a personal essay? (You know...something you can write in your "spare time"--ha, ha!)
I can relate to your post about what to do with physical discomfort in meditation. All that talk about "moving into it" ... not easy. Pema Chodron, to whom you've referred in the past, talks about that.
Right you are, ti. I try to read a bit of her each morning, but have been lagging.
FC, thanks for always giving encouraging words & ideas for essays.
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