Friday, March 23, 2007

I'm Not Talking

There are times when you are going through something, something intense, but you just can't talk about it. That's what I've heard. Some people clam up when they are feeling emotional. Some people hate to share. Perhaps it makes them feel vulnerable. Perhaps they believe showing emotion will paint them as weak. Whatever their reasoning, let me say, I am not one of those people. In fact, I tend to be quite the opposite. If I have a hang nail I'm likely to whine about it to the guy next to me on the bus.

No, really, I'm not that bad. But I do like to talk about my pain. I like to share my uncomfortableness with my friends in the hopes that I will evoke some empathy. That's why we write, correct? To try somehow to identify what it is that makes us feel, what brings us joy; to evoke some empathy.

This has been a particularly emotional couple of weeks for me, and instead of talking about it, instead of being right up front here on the blog, I've chosen the other form. Upon advice given to me by others, I've joined the realm of clams. Honestly, it's almost physically painful to keep it in. I'm a born blabbermouth when it comes to my discomfort. So, until I can talk about it, until I'm ready to divulge the form my emotions have molded into, I'll just have to blog about my distress in a general, angsty sort of way. I'm feeling it.

4 comments:

TI said...

Repeater, you said when you began (in your Hello Darlings post) to blog that we should stop you if you were about to start posting photos of the inside of your house etc. So reminding you what you already know: that you started with "a mind to watch what you post" -- I just want to say that I see you sticking admirably to your goal through this nameless pain! I love a woman with integrity, and you are one. xxoo

Kiyotoe said...

If that's how you want to deal with it then I'm behind that. But I know how frustrating it can be to go against the "grain" in regards to your natural instinct.

Writer Bug said...

Definitely reach out in whatever way you feel comfortable. We're all thinking of you and hoping you're well.

Idiot Cook said...

Yes, to what the above posters said. I'm thinking of you, Ms. Repeater.